Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Crappy Toilet Story.

So last week I dropped a guard for my beard trimmer in the toilet. A small plastic piece that would immediately fall out of sight when dropped in to the clear yet foreboding waters of the toilet. Initially, I figured it wouldn't flush through and would cause toilet cloggination. So I tried to get that piece of plastic out with a hanger. No good. I tried the plunger. I think that made it go farther in. I put a plastic bag over my hand and reached in. it was too far. I took a break. Later, I had to use the restroom, so I used it no problem. That was to pee. I put it the plastic piece at the back of mind. Later on, due to the other kind of use of the toilet, it began to clog and only get worse and worse. I tried to fix it again but could not. Days later, It would be so bad we had to do something, the look and smell was quite terrible. We needed help. We turned to Handy Man, Mr. Mattingly/Dad.
He told us to pick up the toilet and bring it to the backyard. Shove a hose in it from either end, and work that hose around till successful. Easier said than done.

Monica and I spent a good morning working. We struggled to unbolt the toilet from the floor, I broke the nut for the hose to the water tank, we carried the toilet to the backyard leaving a trail of water through our house, we tried shoving a hose through it, Monica stuck her gloved hands in any holes she could. Unsuccessful. The whole time it was smelly, and oh we got dirty, and we had to turn our water off to disconnect the toilet, no cleaning off. We were so fed up, we left to vacation in St. Augustine that afternoon for the night, leaving the toilet in the backyard and a trail of toilet water through our house, Trying to forget our troubles...yes, it was pretty bad.
The next day we had to face the music. We knew that our problem had not simply gone away. We drove a not long enough couple hours back home, we called Handy Man for much needed help, and of course we got down and dirty to get the job done. Hours later, getting our feet seriously soaked in brown water and with water splashing everywhere as Mr. Mattingly plunged and shoved that hose deep into the toilet, the job got done. We got through. Sweat, Blood, Tears, Poop, Pee. .all elements to decent story I guess. good times that will never happen again, a lesson has been learned.


Trina Yeo said...

oh Ryan Yeo!! this story is good.

i like the way you think, and write, and retell.

the foreboding waters of the toilet? facing the music? sorry about the cloggination.

you guys are very brave.

Emily Star said...


i'll bet this was so bonding. it is up there with being sprayed by a skunk...i've always thought it would be such an experience to retell. I'm glad you told this. ~Emily

At night His song is with me said...

Daaaaang, that sucks, bro. All for your silly facial hairs, I suppose.

Anonymous said...

First of all, I am very excited to be able to actually understand your newest blog posting! Second, I know the perfect theme song should this experience ever be made into a movie... "Don't stop Believin" by Journey

Aaron V

Ben Schnell said...

Wow, that is the most horrible experience I think that is possible with a toilet! That's one of the funniest stories I've heard in a long time : )

Miss Jehle said...

Again, I think you are lucky to have your father-in-law.

I wish this post came with real pictures. Maybe just of Monica's sad face as she tries to push the hose through. You wouldn't have to show the poopy part.

TaraB said...

This sounds absolutely horrid, but hysterical after the fact. Is it funny yet? Too soon?

Anthony said...

I say build a platform around the toilet, dig a hole beneath it (or place it with a pipe leading to your neighbors yard) and leave it in the back yard. Next time this happens you have no problem. A roof over top would be good too.

chelsea said...

Why do I love poop stories the best? There must be something wrong with me. I am sorry for your experience, but thankful for the story. =)

Sarah said...

It's funny that this of all things has happened to you and Monica.

I say this because...just this morning, I successfully clogged the upstairs toilet of my 19th-century home with no plunger in the house. And I immediately thought of Monica and our Talge Hall days. You should ask her about that and see if she laughs.

I'm glad Monica is still brave when it comes to crappy toilets. ;)

Love you guys!

This is the diary of Keith Bowman II said...

WOW!!!! That is incredible ;-) I don't think I've ever had such an awful toilet experience.